Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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