i already hear my dad disowning me
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We have started to decorate penises.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
