question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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