On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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