Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
areolas are like halos for boobs.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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