I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
