Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
