We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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