spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
