no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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