i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
