i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
