Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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