i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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