We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
