did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
