The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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