I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
