she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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