I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
