You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
