The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I need a burrito and a hug.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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