I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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