Sry I called you an 8
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
