I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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