Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
