david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
