i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
