I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
