The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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