its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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