you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
