Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
