Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
