I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
