try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
