how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Still dying that you shit outside
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize