Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
