i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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