dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
