i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
do nipples grow back?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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