So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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