mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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