There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
