i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
