Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
