Michael Bay diarrhea
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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