Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
