Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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