when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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