I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
